Three Stages of Marriage

There are three stages within any human interaction that leads to marriage.

Stage one: finding a friend and spending a lot of time together and got to know each other some and then got marred is stage three and (Stage two) you missed

Stage two: for most do not know about Stage two for your parents more than likely did not do Stage two and fight all the time because they missed Stage two.

Stage three: getting married and settling down and raise a family and within the family life.

Stage Two: is when you inter a relationship. That consists of sitting down and talking about what you want out of life and that means both of really sit down and talk this over. How many children, what you want out of life and even what you want to do when you get old and even where you want to live what job you want, there is a website you can look up the 500 questions that should be asked before you even decide on marriage. For if you both do not even get to half of them and cannot agree on even half all you will do later on is fight, fight because you want to be right and have your own way. for if this happens you never talked about it before you got married. like what religion do you want to raise your children as. Instead of say this is the way it is and then it starts a fight. So if you missed Stage two like just about everyone does then you realize now that you might have marred the wrong one for now you both want something different out of life and now there is children. So you break up and get divorced all because you missed Stage 2. Really talking over everything even which way the TP goes. it goes down the back because if you have children or cats they will unroll it if it goes over the front. hit it and see what I mean. If it is over it goes all over the floor if not it just goes around and around. So make sure you sit and really get to know someone and the only way is to ask questions. Do not be afraid of talking to them it is better to find out now before you get marred if you can get along and want the same things out of life now not fight about later on and then end up getting a divorce. Now if they do not want to talk to you about everything then nothing will work and they will fight about everything for they will want their own way no matter what you want.

Stage one: find someone and become friends

Stage two: Talk about the future and all the things that pertain to the things you want and the 500 questions that everyone should talk about. Now with this understanding that you have now between you and you each know what has to be done you enter stage two with now a relationship that will last a life time. Even when something’s that come up you know then to sit and talk about them and what needs to be done to solve the problem.

Now I really have to explain something that no many can comprehend is that sisters and brothers might get curious to see if they could have been the one that there brother or sister married. So sometimes they will see out to find out. Then that is what happens when one of you I call jump the fence and spend time with one of the sisters or brothers that each of you have. So from the start if you talk about this and have things talked about this when it will happen in the future or sooner or later each one of you will know how to deal with family and what they seek. For them I think that they really do not know the full story of what their intentions is they are just curious about the sister or brother in-law to see if they could have been the one that married them. Now once you talk about this all you have to do is tell them that I married the right one and we would have never worked out and most of the time it will solve the problem. If not then what is going on within the family has to bring out so everyone knows what is going on and why. This should put a stop to it. This is why sometimes the many times others have asked you out was not because they wanted to date you they wanted to find out what you are like and how good of a spouse you are and if they seem they are really interested in you they are not it is just something they are curious about why your marriage as lasted so long. Most of the time they seek out someone that married to find out what they are like and this way then can find someone like you but you are already taken so that means you are just someone with information they need and that is all. So this is why when you leave your spouse they tell you to leave for it was not you but the though of you and what you represent. Not you personality for they do not seek marriage they seek information only. So it is just better to talk to them at work but never outside of work for they seek things that you will not understand for you already have someone and they do not. Many people do things for different reasons but it always comes down to how much you love your spouse, children, and the way of life that you have found within your life time. Some things cannot be replaced but found.

Stage three: getting married and settling down and raise a family. Then the best thing is when something does come up you have already talked about it so you both know where each one of you stand. If something new comes up then sit and talk it over.

I tell my wife everything that goes on with everyone so when someone tells her something she knows the real truth. Then what ever it is she can take care of it. The thing is I never told her about her sister that come to me one day and said: If we got together would things worked out between us??? I told her it would have not for if I had said anything else then she would have not gone back to her husband she would have lived with us and more than likely tried to get rid of her sister so she could have me. But I put a stop to it right away and she moved back to her husband and I never heard or even talked to her about what happened. I never told my wife for I did not want my wife to be mad at her sister for doing what she did. The worst part was about two years later she died of cancer. I still never did tell her. Then I wonder if she knows why her sister was doing what she did and why. But we never did talk about it so I never said anything about it. Just because of her sister being curious and if I would have said anything she would have tried to get us together but I stopped it before anything happened and got too far. Then the worst part was you even might encounter this within your marriage too. So just do the same thing tell them that it would have never worked out. Problem solved.

The real reason you get marred is so the kids will have their father’s last name and for the spouse will have the last name so as the kids get older they will have the last name of their father and mother. This why they have a sense of belonging to a family with the entire same name.

When two people get married they go someplace and tell each other vows and sign the paper work and now they are married. Now what it means is you signed a contract to stay, be faithful, to help raise your children, and to love your spouse for the rest of your life until death do you part.

Now for many women they do not realize that they are the ones that keep the family together and it is her responsibility to be the glue that holds everything together. The man’s job it to make the money to provide the many things that the family needs. Then he should also help around the home and you both should have date night three nights a week even if it is to go and eat someplace. Have mom baby sit for even for two hours so both of you can get away from the home together and do things like when you were dating. This over time will keep you close and talking to either other about all the things that happen from day to day and then you both will know what is going on within the family and others.

The main one is the woman that makes the home, keeps the home clean, and makes sure the kids get what they need from day to day and for her she is really important to the husband for if she is a good wife to him and makes sure that he gets what he needs he will be a good husband to her. But when you get a woman that will not do what needs to be done she mainly is the one that can destroy the family in a very short time. All of a sudden he has left and she is left to raise the children all on her own. She is the one that could have been the one to drive him away for if she does not do what has to be done with in the relationship and the family then mainly she is the one that has destroyed the marriage and the relationship between them. Most of the time it was not all her for if the spouse does not help around the home and does things that is not right. They both have a part within the home to do the things that has to be done from day today but if it is not then chaos sets in and soon they leave and seek another place to live without so much chaos.

What are you doing to tell your children that what really happened was that all you did was complain all the time your spouse was home and did not feed him or even wash his cloths? And then you wonder why he left and stopped paying all the bills. So why should he pay for something he never got to use in the first place. What we seek out of life most of the time knows what we really wanted was different on what we got. So we tend to run when times get tough and most of them we do not go back to the old ways and even the old places we used to go to.

Our lives really determine where we live, work, children we have, the spouse we married, the car we drive, the house we live in. Even our parents on how they brought us up and even their faith and all the rest that goes along with our upbringing determines our outlook on life and how we treat others.

When we get to our upbringing we have to talk about our tribal attributes within the culture that we was brought up in. Now that is another sermon. Look for the sermon tribal attributes.